This is an exploratory piece detailing a girl's experience with her brother's heroin addiction; however, it takes on several perspectives and disregards temporal linearity. Several aspects are drawn from my own life, making this piece semi-autobiographical.
The page titled "Pathological" incorporates a series of images featuring an eye, portraying the transformation of pupils from dilated to pinpoint. This visual narrative serves as a reflection of the immense impact of opiates on the human body upon ingestion. The text and imagery captures the paradox commonly observed in individuals under the influence of opioids, who frequently deny their altered state when accused, despite the unmistakable physical manifestations. The piece highlights the disconnect between the external signs of intoxication and the internal denial that often characterizes those affected by opioids.
"The First Time," unfolds the experience of the man's inaugural encounter with opioid use. Within the labyrinth of substance abuse, a prevalent sentiment shared among many opioid users, is that the first time feels like "A hug from Jesus." This metaphor encapsulates the indescribable euphoria that often accompanies the initial encounter with opioids, a sensation so intense and sublime that it becomes the basis for subsequent experiences. This initial euphoria becomes a catalyst, driving individuals to repeatedly seek to replicate that unparalleled feeling, a pursuit colloquially known as "Chasing the dragon." It explores the interplay between the allure of that first high and the relentless pursuit of an elusive euphoria.
The narrative of "Angeles" delves into the life-altering decision of a young girl who relocates to Los Angeles, a deliberate act to create distance from the tumultuous circumstances of her former life. The storyline weaves her journey of self-discovery as she seeks solace in a new city, in attempt to leave behind the chaos that once defined her existence. I used a stock image of a seemingly endless desert road, then I drew the dagger in adobe illustrator, and put it onto a copy of the road. I applied numerous filters to obtain the color palette and quality I desired, then put the photos into a gif generator. The dagger embedded in the road, is more obviously a nod to the altercation that happened to her brother, but it is also a metaphor used to mirror the protagonist's mental landscape. It visually encapsulates the duality of her thoughts—on one hand, the anticipation of the uncharted road ahead, and on the other, the persistent intrusion of memories from her past. The animated GIF becomes a representation of her internal conflict, where the dagger symbolizes the lingering impact of her history, subtly influencing her perception of the vast road ahead of her.
It is a personal anecdote.
The page "Dopamine" goes into the neurological processes behind most addictions. Its ironic tone is meant to playfully ridicule the paradoxical nature of engaging in behavior that satiates instant gratification which, in turn, proves detrimental to one's overall health. I deliberately used this approach to highlight the inherent absurdity in human biology, where the pursuit of short-term pleasures often clashes with long-term well-being. The visual composition is meant to emphasize this irony. The central image of the rat serves as a nod to the influential "rat park" experiment. In this study, rats were presented with a choice between cocaine-laced water in a solitary environment and regular water in a cage filled with activities and fellow rats. They, invariably, chose the latter, proving the importance of environmental factors in shaping addictive behaviors.
"Immune" takes a first person perspective, showing how the girl's emotions evolved throughout her brother's addiction. The static serves as a visual metaphor for the dissonance, the unresolved emotions that reverberate within her. It mirrors the apathetic and detached emotions she grapples with, creating a visceral connection. It is highly reminiscent of how my disposition towards my own brother's addiction shifted over the years.
I have two brothers, James and Andrew, who have both struggled with heroin and fentanyl addictions for several years. I am happy to say that James is going on his 6th month of sobriety.
Sources: Eye image: “Donnie Darko.” Twentieth Century Fox, 2001. Confetti Mouse In the hands of God gif Road Info about the reward system