There’s a loooot I still need to work on, please be gentle.
One thought on “Carlie 30 sec wip”
Great imagery, of course. It’s a little hard to follow without any voiceover/much sound design or characters. May be an odd scene to pick out, but the landing of the backpack is really nice. I also like the camera shift from behind the television. The phrasing is a bit awkward, yeah, but I think I see what you’re going for. Consider just dropping “there before” or trying “Where would you be today if they hadn’t been there then?” Not sure that’s any better, a bit too ambiguous. Good luck figuring that out! Make sure you slow down the text when you get it finalized, though. Really looking good so far.
Great imagery, of course. It’s a little hard to follow without any voiceover/much sound design or characters. May be an odd scene to pick out, but the landing of the backpack is really nice. I also like the camera shift from behind the television. The phrasing is a bit awkward, yeah, but I think I see what you’re going for. Consider just dropping “there before” or trying “Where would you be today if they hadn’t been there then?” Not sure that’s any better, a bit too ambiguous. Good luck figuring that out! Make sure you slow down the text when you get it finalized, though. Really looking good so far.